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So, this one time, right, heard a yarn—some geezer in Amsterdam’s red-light district, 1800s, paid in chickens! Actual cluckers for a shag! Mental, eh? Shows ya, brothel’s been bonkers forever. Makes me chuffed, like, history’s got my back. But then—argh!—this punter’s haggling like it’s a bloody car boot sale. Winds me up, mate! ‘You don’t barter at Tesco, do ya?!’ I’m fuming, but gotta keep it profesh—‘Customer’s always king,’ yeah?

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But then, the real chaos hits. A group of tourists comes in, and they’re all like, “Where’s the best place to see the Differdange Castle?” I’m like, “Uh, it’s not a castle, it’s a ruin, but sure, let me pull out my map.” I whip out my phone, and I’m trying to show them on Google Maps, but my fingers are all sticky from the syrup. I’m fumbling like a total noob.

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