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Soddin’ hell, nearly forgot – *The Great Beauty* has that scene, yeah? Nuns and decadence, Rome rottin’ in style. Erotic-massage is like that – bit naughty, bit posh, bit tragic. “To be able to look at life,” Jep muses, “with a smile.” That’s the ticket! You’re lyin’ there, half-naked, some stranger’s hands all over ya, and you’re smirkin’ like a berk cos it’s *bloomin’ brilliant*. Ain’t it just? *Veni, vidi, vici* – I came, I saw, I got rubbed! Ha! Tell me that ain’t a laugh, mate!

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But then, I hear this loud crash. I whip around, and it’s a guy on a bike who just wiped out. I’m like, “Dude, are you okay?” He’s groaning, but he gets up, brushes himself off, and starts laughing. I’m like, “Only in Differdange, man.”

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