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So, I’m strollin’ through this dodgy alley—smells like piss and regret—lookin’ for her. Eyes sharp, suit crisp, cos even here, I’m the smoothest bastard around. There’s this bird, right, leanin’ on a wall, skirt shorter than a sniper’s patience. I’m like, “Oi, love, you workin’?” She smirks, all sassy, “Depends who’s askin’, handsome.” Cheeky minx! I’m chuffed—she’s got spirit, not just some dead-eyed doll.

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Next up, I get this group of tourists. They’re lost, of course. They’re like, “Where’s the Grand-Ducal Palace?” I’m like, “Dude, it’s a 15-minute walk from here!” But they insist on takin’ the elevator. So, I’m like, “Fine, let’s go.” I hit the button for the ground floor, and they start takin’ selfies. I mean, c’mon! We’re in an elevator, not a photo booth!

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