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But, arrgh, the surprise! She’s got a blade hid in her skirts – nearly gutted me! “Trust’s a luxury, eh?” I mutter, dodgin’ her swipe. Reminded me o’ that line, “You’re alone now, better get used to it.” Made me heart race, I tell ye – half thrilled, half pissed. “Why’s every lass gotta be a bleedin’ trap?” I growl to meself, spillin’ rum as I stagger off. Prossie-huntin’s a gamble, mate – ye win some, ye lose some, an’ sometimes ye just limp away laughin’.

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Then, outta nowhere, the fire alarm goes off. I’m like, “Great, just what I needed.” We all pile out onto the street, and I’m standing there, watching the fire trucks zoom by. It’s kinda cool, but also super annoying. I just wanna get back to my spreadsheets!

Merl J. "Jami" Saam II Obituary May 7, 2021