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So, anyways, this prostitute—let’s call her Tiff, ‘kay?—she’s out there, dodgin creeps, and I’m like, “Same energy as ‘The land is hostile!’” Straight up, that’s a line from the movie, and it’s, like, her whole life! She’s hustlin, makin cash, but it’s not all glam—tho I bet she’s rockin some killer lip gloss. Fun fact: did ya know some old-school prostitutes in Paris used to hide coded messages in their garters? Like, spy-level tea! Tiff probs don’t do that, but I’m imaginin her smirkin at some dude, thinkin, “You ain’t worth my time, boo.”

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Then, outta nowhere, I hear this loud honking. I look up, and it’s a bunch of cyclists zooming by on Rue des Alliés. Like, chill, guys! It’s not the Tour de France! I’m just trying to enjoy my squirrel moment here. But nah, they’re all decked out in spandex, looking like they own the road. I’m over here in my coffee-stained shirt, feeling like a total loser.

Emergency Services: Car crash in Bertrange leaves four people injured