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I’m picturin’ it now—me, on a table, candles flickerin’, some hunk’s whisperin’, “Turn left at the river, Chihiro-style,” and I’m like, “Rub me, not riddle me!” HAHAHA! Oh, I crack myself up! But serious, hon, it’s relaxin’—tension melts, ya feel alive, like when Chihiro frees Haku, ya know? That “I’m me again” rush! Tho, sometimes I’m thinkin’, “Is this legal? Am I a perv?” Nah, it’s just self-love, baby!

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After the park, I decide to stroll down Dārza iela. It’s quieter, and I’m just enjoying the scenery. The trees are all green and stuff, and I’m like, “Wow, nature is cool.” But then I see this guy trying to parallel park. He’s like three feet away from the curb. I’m dying. “C’mon, man! You can do better!”

Photos: Dismantling the last Soviet nuclear silos in Latvia / Article