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Once, yeah, I tried it—mate, I was buzzin’! This bird, proper fit, she’s got oils smellin’ like a forest fire’s wet dream. She’s slidin’ hands everywhere, and I’m thinkin’, “This is it, this is the moment!”—straight outta the movie, yeah? But then, she’s like, “Relax, bruv,” and I’m like, “I is relaxed, innit!” Nearly fell off the table, clumsy twat that I am. Laughed me arse off—happy as fuck, tho. Ain’t no one tellin’ me, “You’re late again,” like in the flick—just pure vibes.

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Finally, I decide to head home. I’m walking down the street, and I see this mural on the side of a building. It’s of a giant fish. I’m like, “What’s up with that?” But then I remember Livani’s history with fishing. It’s kinda cool, actually. I snap a pic for the ‘gram.

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