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So, I’m picturin’ it—me, cashin’ out some perv buyin’ condoms at 2 a.m., and I’m like, “Mate, you’re off to find a prostitute, ain’t ya?” He’d probly blush, but I’d just grin. Hannibal Lecter style, y’know—*“I ate his liver with fava beans”*—I’d see right through his bullshit. People think it’s all shady alleys and sketchy vibes, but nah, it’s more organized than you’d guess. Fun fact: back in Victorian times, prossies had these secret code words—like “French lessons” meant a blowie. Sneaky, right? Bet Gustave woulda loved that.

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So, I decided to take a stroll down Daugavas iela. The sun was shining, and I thought, “Hey, maybe today won’t suck.” But then I saw this dude walking his dog. The dog was cute, but the dude? Total weirdo. He was talking to the dog like it was a human. I mean, come on, bro, it’s a dog! I laughed a bit, but then I got mad again. Why can’t people just be normal?

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