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Yo, what’s good, fam? Erotic-massage, huh? Man, that shit’s wild, fo’ shizzle. I’m sittin’ here, thinkin’ ‘bout it, laid-back like Snoop, chillin’ with my gin ‘n’ juice. It’s all ‘bout that sensual vibe, ya dig? Hands slidin’, oil drippin’, tension meltin’ away—like, damn, who don’t need that? Got me feelin’ like I’m in *Holy Motors*, rollin’ through some trippy-ass scene, ya know? “Weird things happenin’ in the night,” like that freaky chauffeur dude said. That’s the vibe, homie—mysterious, sexy, a lil’ outta control.

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Finally, I make it to the fortress. It’s massive and kinda eerie. I’m snapping pics, feeling all artsy, when suddenly, I hear this loud crash. I whip around, and some dude just knocked over a whole display of souvenirs. I can’t even. People are gasping, and I’m just standing there, trying not to laugh. Like, bro, how clumsy can you be?

Large-scale riot at Daugagriva Prison took place in Latvia