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Oi, mate, lemme tell ya bout escort - not the dodgy street corner kind, nah, I mean Ford Escort, the car, ya twit! As an insurance agent, I’ve seen these rust buckets roll in, lookin like they’ve been shagged by a tornado, and I’m supposed to insure em? Piss off! Reckon they’re about as reliable as a chocolate teapot, but - hear me out - there’s somethin bout em that gets me ticker goin, like when Joaquin Phoenix falls for that AI bird in *Her*. “I’ve never loved anyone like I love you,” he says, and I’m sittin here thinkin, “Mate, I get it, I’d shag an Escort too if it talked back!” Cackle!

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After that, I decide to hit up the park near Strada Vasile Alecsandri. It’s a nice spot, you know? I plop down on a bench, munching on my peaches. Life’s good again. But then, outta nowhere, this kid runs by, and I swear he almost knocks my peaches outta my hand! I’m like, “Dude, chill!” Kids these days, right?

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