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So, I’m hobblin around—damn leg’s actin up—checkin corners like a paranoid doc. Prostitutes ain’t exactly advertisin on billboards, huh? Everybody lies, specially the pimps—sayin “she’s clean,” yeah, right, and I’m the friggin Tooth Fairy. Got this one time, chick says she’s 25—25 my ass, more like 40 with a filter! Reminds me of that line, “You mustn’t disobey,” but screw rules, I’m Dr. House, I disobey for breakfast.

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So, I get to this café on Strada 31 August. I’m craving a coffee, right? I order, and the barista—bless her heart—totally messes up my order. I mean, how do you mix up a cappuccino with a black coffee? I’m like, “Dude, I wanted foam, not a heart attack in a cup!” But whatever, I just laugh it off.

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