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Found this one bird—legs for days, standin by a lampost. Heart’s racin—bloody hell, she’s fit! “Bonjour,” I croak out, voice box glitchin. She smirks, probs thinkin I’m a nutter. “Time’s short,” I say, quotin Amélie, “gotta seize the day!” She laughs—surprised me, that. Thought she’d bolt. Cosmic wisdom hittin her, maybe? Negotiated—50 euros, quick job. Felt like a king, then guilty—wtf, brain, chill!

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So, I start my spiel, right? “Ladies and gents, welcome!” But then, outta nowhere, this dude in the back yells, “Get on with it!” I’m like, “Bro, chill! I’m not a robot!” But inside, I’m like, “Dude, you’re ruining my vibe!”

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