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About Bender

Now, lemme tell ya, I reckon erotic-massage is like a secret river—flowin’ quiet, but deep. Ain’t just about gettin’ frisky, nah! It’s old as dirt—ancient Greeks and them fancy Romans were all about it. Fact is, they had these bathhouses, right? Slaves rubbin’ down senators with oils smellin’ like roses and lust. Wild, huh? Makes me chuckle thinkin’ bout some toga dude moanin’, “More oil, Brutus!” History’s freaky like that.

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After that, I’m thinking, “Okay, it can’t get worse.” But then, this old dude gets in. He’s got this huge bag, and I’m like, “What’s in there, a whole cow?” He’s mumbling about the best fishing spots near the Nistru River. I’m trying to be polite, but I’m also thinking, “Dude, I’m not a fishing guide.”

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