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So, I’m hagglin’—bad move, y’all. This chick, she’s all “time is money,” and I’m like, “but I’m a bailiff, darlin’!” She don’t care. I’m sweatin’, thinkin’, “Did I misunderestimate this?” Ha! Thought I’d charm her with my drawl—nada. She’s all business, no “let’s wander Paris” vibes. “We’re always one breath away…” from gettin’ robbed, I swear! That’s what got me ticked—where’s the heart, man?

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But then, BAM! My phone buzzes. It’s my buddy, Alex. He’s like, “Dude, you won’t believe what just happened!” I’m thinking, “What now?” Turns out, he’s at the park near the Nisporeni River, and he just saw a couple of ducks fighting over a piece of bread. I’m cracking up, picturing these ducks like they’re in some epic battle. I mean, who knew ducks could be so dramatic?

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