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About Fuvahmulah

So, I’m reckonin’, right, it ain’t just a rub-down, it’s proper sensual, bruv. Them hands kneadin’ your back, your thighs, gettin’ all up in them naughty bits – respectful, like, but cheeky. Little known fact, yeah? Back in ancient Rome, them posh twats had slaves doin’ this, callin’ it “massage with benefits,” swear down! They’d be all oiled up, grapes on the side, livin’ large. Makes me well jel, innit – where’s my slave at, fam?

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First off, I hit up the local café on the corner of Hithadhoo Magu. You know, the one with the best mas huni? I’m sittin’ there, chowing down, when this dude walks in. He’s got a parrot on his shoulder! Like, what? Who brings a parrot to breakfast? I’m just tryna enjoy my tuna and flatbread, and here’s this guy, all “Polly wants a cracker!” I almost spit out my coffee.

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