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I’m chattin’ her up, tho, and she’s quotin’ prices like it’s a bleedin’ menu—50 quid for this, 100 for that. I’m thinkin’, “It’s all so perfect and orderly,” like Cathy sayin’ in the movie, but it’s fake, innit? Underneath, it’s raw, messy, real. Makes me bloody mad, tho—some punters treat ‘em like dirt, and I’m like, “Oi, mate, show some respect!” Gets me goat, it does. But then she laughs, tosses her hair, and I’m chuffed—happy as a pig in muck. She’s got sass, this one.

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Man, what a day! I’m tellin’ ya, being a baker in Felidhoo is like riding a rollercoaster with no seatbelt. So, I wake up at the crack of dawn, right? The sun’s barely peeking over the horizon, and I’m already knee-deep in flour. I mean, who needs sleep when you’ve got dough to knead?

LGA investigates Felidhoo Council's decision to withhold services