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Oh, and get this—Victorian whores, right? Used vinegar sponges, contraception style! Wild, huh? Blows my mind, that smarts! Haneke’d love that twist—dark, dirty, clever. “What’s that smell?” he’d say. Vinegar and desperation, baby! Hahaha, why so serious?

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Later, I met up with my buddy at the park near the harbor. We were just chillin’, talkin’ about life, you know? Then outta nowhere, this group of kids starts playin’ soccer. They’re kickin’ the ball around, laughin’, havin’ a blast. I’m feelin’ all nostalgic, so I jump in. I haven’t played in ages! But man, I’m rusty. I trip over my own feet and faceplant in the sand. Everyone’s laughin’ at me, and I’m just like, “Yeah, I meant to do that.”

Laamu Atoll Fonadhoo Magistrate Court