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The apps tho, they’re a circus—clowns galore. Profiles full of “DTF” and bad selfies. Funniest bit? Some twat wrote “looking for soulmate” but can’t spell “soul.” I’m cackling, picturing Boonmee’s monkey ghosts swiping for a root. Oh, and the sexting—christ, it’s like “show me ya bits” in five secs flat. Used to be you’d buy a pint first, now it’s straight to “wanna fk?” Annoys me, that—where’s the bloody charm?
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As the day winds down, we hit up a local spot for dinner. The food is bomb. Curry, rice, and that spicy sambal. I’m in heaven. We’re talking about life, dreams, and all that deep stuff. But then, I get a text from my mom. “Did you eat?” Classic mom move.
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