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Still, I’m chuffed when it works out. Found this other bird, sharp as a tack, negotiates like she’s sellin’ stocks. “How much?” I ask. She smirks, “More than your Aston Martin, babe.” Cheeky! Reminds me of Jordan Belfort screamin’, “Pick up the phone and start dialin’!”—she’s dialin’ my number, alright. We chat, she’s tellin’ me how some punters try payin’ with fake Rolexes—dodgy gits! Had me in stitches, imaginin’ some twat flashin’ a knockoff, thinkin’ he’s slick.

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But then, I see a group of kids playing soccer. They’re kicking a ball around, laughing, and I’m like, “Man, I miss those days.” So, I join in. I’m not the best, but we’re having a blast. I score a goal, and they all cheer. It’s like I’m a hero again, even if it’s just for a moment.

Pres. vows to resume halted water and sewerage project in Nilandhoo