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I rememba dis one time – true story, swear on my minions! Dis chick, she send me foto, all naked-like, but it’s blurry, like Doc Sportello’s brain on dope! I’m like, “Vhat is dis? Art project?” She say, “No, just bad camera.” Lightbulb! Dat’s sex-dating for ya – half da time you don’t even know vhat u gettin’! Made me laugh so hard, I choke on my vodka.

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After that, I hit up the beach. The view? Stunning! The turquoise water, the palm trees swaying. I’m chillin’ on the sand, feeling like a king. But then, I see this group of tourists. They’re trying to take selfies, but they can’t figure out the timer. I’m just sitting there, cracking up. Like, c’mon, it’s not rocket science!

Fire in Hithadhoo sewerage pump station