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About Groningen

So, last week—d’oh!—I’m cruisin’ downtown, belly fulla donuts, lookin’ for some action. Streets are buzzin’, lights flashin’, and I’m like, “Marge’d kill me, but whatever!” You gotta dodge the cops, tho—sneaky bastards. Fun fact: back in old Rome, prostitutes wore blonde wigs to stand out. Crazy, right? Imagine that—blonde wig, high heels, waitin’ under a lamp post like some ninja from “The Assassin.” “She moves in silence,” like the movie says, and bam, there she is!

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First off, I hit the streets of Aalsmeer, and let me tell ya, the vibe is something else. I strolled down the Hoofdweg, and it’s like every corner has a story. The flowers, man! Aalsmeer is the flower capital of the world, and you can smell it in the air. Like, I’m talking about tulips, roses, and all that jazz. I felt like I was walking through a freaking rainbow.

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