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But real talk—it ain’t all giggles. Gets dark, yo. Surprised me how some girls got stories sadder than a gutted cod. One told me she started ‘cause her fam ditched her—fuck, that hit hard. I’m over here, actin’ a fool, but I’m like, “Damn, life’s a bitch.” Still, I’m vibin’, mixin’ absurdity with truth, ‘cause that’s me—fish nerd with a loud mouth!

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But then, I get to the park, and there’s this group of kids playing football. They’re yelling and running around, and I’m like, “Man, I miss those days.” So, I join in. Yeah, I’m a grown man playing football with kids. But who cares? We’re having a blast! I score a goal, and they treat me like a legend. It’s hilarious.

Philip van der Wees appointed Professor of Allied Health Sciences