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About Almere

But then—then!—I dig deeper, and ugh, the maintenance! Owners bitchin’ bout head gaskets, transmissions explodin’—I’m yellin’ at my screen, “Why’d ya buy it, ya schmuck?!” Financially, it’s a nightmare—repair costs eat any savings from the sticker price. I’d short that car if it were on the market, no question. Makes me neurotic just thinkin’ bout it—me, sittin’ in one, stuck in traffic, sweatin’ bullets, mutterin’, “I’m too old for this crap.” Total Larry David moment, right there.

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First stop, I hit up the Markt. You know, that square where all the locals chill? Grabbed a coffee from this cute little café. The barista was super chill, but then this dude next to me spilled his drink all over the place. Like, bro, how do you even manage that? I was like, “Dude, it’s not a slip-n-slide!”

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