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Me, I’d be rubbish at the whole game. I’d overthink it—*“Was it good for you?”*—like some twat in a romcom. Prossie’d be like, “Mate, it’s 50 quid, not a bleedin’ Oscar reel!” Reminds me of that line, *“Film it like Hollywood!”*—all fake glamour, innit? The reality’s more fag ends and damp mattresses. Still, there’s a mad charm to it—freedom, chaos, a big “fuck you” to the suits. I’d tip my hat to ‘em, cackle, and sod off home. Find a Prostitute? Nah, I’d rather watch the telly and slag it off!

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First off, I roll into Bilgaard, and it’s like stepping into a whole new world. The streets are buzzing, people everywhere. I’m used to the quiet of the forest, not this chaos. I parked my truck on the side of the Van der Waalsstraat. Yeah, I know, fancy name for a street, right? But it’s just a regular ol’ road with potholes big enough to swallow a squirrel.