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About Amsterdam

Little fact fer ya – some escorts, they’re old as dirt, like 50, 60! Shocked me rotten, thought it’s all young chicks. Nope, grannies out there bangin’ for cash – wild, huh? Saw one profile, “Mature vixen,” she called herself, probly smells like mothballs n’ regret. Made me giggle, then gag – nasty!

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So, I’m walking down the street, and I see this café called “De Groene Boom.” I mean, come on, how could I resist? I’m a forester, I love trees! I pop in for a coffee, and the barista? Total character. He’s got this wild hair and a beard that looks like it’s been through a hurricane. I order a cappuccino, and he’s like, “You want it with a sprinkle of tree bark?” I laugh, but he’s dead serious. I’m like, “Nah, man, just the coffee, please.”