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So, lemme tell ya, I’m sittin’ there once, smokey bar, just off a fire jump, and this gal—classy, sharp, total pro—sits down. She’s an escort, right? Not what you think—none of that cheap Hollywood crap. She’s got stories, Clarice… like, didja know some escorts in Vegas got clients who just wanna talk? No sex, just chat—lonely bastards payin’ big for a ear. Blew my mind! I was like, “Shit, really?” Made me happy, tho—people cravin’ somethin’ real, even if it’s bought.

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First off, I hit the streets of Bodegraven, right? I’m cruising down the Hoofdstraat, and it’s like, 8 AM. The sun’s shining, birds are chirping, and I’m feeling good. But then, BAM! I step in a puddle. Not just any puddle, but the biggest, muddiest one ever. My shoes? Ruined. Thanks, Bodegraven weather.

Motorcycle accident along Blue Ridge Parkway, National Park Service says