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About Tilburg

Exaggeratin? Maybe. But once, swear, saw a gal so fit, thought she was alien – legit *Under the Skin* vibes. “Come with me,” she said, and I’m like, “Blimey, I’m in!” Didn’t go, tho – bloody ethics or summat. Still, mate, if ya gonna do it, keep ya wits. Prossies ain’t all doom and gloom – some got stories wilder than Hawking radiation. One told me she paid her uni fees shaggin – respect, yeah?

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After that, I head over to the Sint-Lambertuskerk. I love that place. It’s so peaceful. I’m just standing there, taking it all in, when I hear this loud crash. I turn around, and some kid on a bike just wiped out on the cobblestones. I rush over, half worried, half trying not to laugh. He’s fine, just a bit bruised and embarrassed. I tell him, “Hey, man, you gotta watch out for those cobbles!” He just grins and says, “I’ll stick to the grass next time.” Classic!

Dutch cop monitoring “spy balloon” realizes it’s bird poo on his windshield