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Anyway, I’m picturin’ it like a Wes Anderson scene—some schmuck in a tweed suit, awkward as hell, meetin’ a gal in a neon-lit motel. “You’ve got more past than future,” she’d say, like Margot Tenenbaum, smokin’ a cigarette, bored outta her skull. He’d fumble, drop his wallet, and I’d laugh my ass off. Humor in the misery, y’see? I’d be sittin’ there, whittlin’ a stick, judgin’ the hell outta him. Hate the desperation—makes me wanna punch a wall.

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Outside, it’s a beautiful day. The sun’s shining, and I’m thinking, “Why are we outside?!” But then I see the fire truck zooming down the street. I mean, how cool is that? The whole town’s out, and we’re all just standing there, watching the show. It’s like a mini parade, and I’m low-key loving it.

Van Breukelen Quits As Technical Director Of Dutch FA