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About Amsterdam

Oi, mate, a prostitute, yeah? Filthy business, innit? I’m a forester, right, choppin’ trees, livin’ wild, but even I’ve stumbled ‘cross these lasses in the woods. Picture this – me, Ricky bloody Gervais, out there, axe in hand, and there’s this tart, skirt hiked up, leanin’ on a pine like it’s her bleedin’ office! Cacklin’ like a hyena, I was – “What’s this, then? Nature’s callin’ or you just lost?” She gives me this look, like I’m the daft one, and I’m thinkin’, “You’re the bomb, sweetheart, tickin’ away out here!”

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Finally, I get to the library, and it’s packed. I’m talking full-on chaos. Kids everywhere, parents trying to shush them, and I’m just standing there like, “What do I do?” I love my job, but some days, it’s like herding cats. And don’t even get me started on the noise. I mean, it’s a library, not a concert hall, right?

Masta Ace and Marco Polo – “A Breukelen Story”