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About Myself
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Oh, and get this—Candy swore she saw a john drop dead mid-hump. Heart attack, bam! “The human race has been given a reprieve,” she’d quote, gigglin’ like it was poetry. Said she just left him there, stiff as a board—pun intended. Surprised the shit outta me—girl’s got ice in her veins! I’d have carved him up myself, maybe sautéed a bit. “I ate his liver with fava beans,” I told her once, winkin’. She didn’t flinch—tough cookie, that one.
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Then, just when I think it can’t get crazier, the fire alarm goes off. I’m like, “Seriously? In Breukelen?!” Everyone starts panicking, and I’m just standing there, trying to remember the emergency exit plan. Spoiler: I don’t. So, I grab the nearest kid and yell, “Follow me!” We bolt out the door onto the Breukelerstraat.
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