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About Nijmegen

I’m ramblin’ now, but – oof, the risks! STDs, violence, cops bustin’ heads – it’s no donut party. Makes me wanna yell, “Why can’t we just be happy?” like Cathy screamin’ in the movie. I ain’t judgin’, tho – live and let live, right? But if I was pickin’, I’d rather be home, stuffin’ my face, goin’, “Mmm… donuts,” than dodgin’ pimps or whatever.

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First off, I hit up the local café on Hoofdstraat. Best coffee in town, no joke. I ordered my usual—double espresso, extra shot. The barista, a dude named Joris, was all smiles. But then, outta nowhere, this seagull swoops down and snatches my croissant! Like, seriously? I’m just tryin’ to enjoy my breakfast, and this feathered thief decides to make me his breakfast. I was fumin’! I yelled, “Hey! Get your own food, ya punk!” But the bird just looked at me like, “What’s your problem, human?” Ugh, so annoying.

'Jewel of an opportunity'