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So, picture this – dodgy alley, right, proper seedy vibes. I’m like, “Oi, where’s the talent pipeline?” Saw this bird, yeah, tottering in heels, skirt shorter than a memo. Made me chuffed, like, “Result! Productivity spike!” But then – bam – some geezer rocks up, all aggro, shouting she’s his. Fuming, I was – “Mate, this ain’t your KPI!” Nearly lost me rag, but I’m a people person, yeah? De-escalated it, smooth as.

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Suddenly, this old lady, Mrs. van Dijk, comes up to me. She’s like, “You play nice, young man, but can you play something from the old days?” I’m like, “Sure, lady, how about some Elvis?” She lights up like a Christmas tree! I swear, she starts dancing like it’s 1955. I’m crackin’ up, and the whole park is vibin’.

Hendrik Beikirch New Mural in Brunssum, The Netherlands