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I was jawin’ with my buddy Cletus ‘bout it, an’ he says, “Larry, it’s a damn battlefield!” Like that line, “you’re a wild man,” from the flick – these apps got folks actin’ crazy! Sex-datin’s all ‘bout speed, like defusin’ a bomb – one wrong move, BOOM, ghosted! I seen some profiles so horny they’d make a preacher blush – GIT-R-DONE! Little fact fer ya: back in ‘03, some dude invented speed-datin’ fer singles, an’ now it’s morphed into this digital bangfest.

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But then, she says something wild. She claims there’s a ghost haunting the old church on the Kerkstraat. I’m like, “No way!” But she’s dead serious. I mean, I love a good ghost story, but c’mon! I’m not about to go ghost hunting in a small town.

25 years since Ronald Koeman's debut for FC Barcelona