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About Myself
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Saw this one bird, legs like a racehorse, leanin on a lamppost. “Who are you, so still?” – straight outta the movie, I swear! Heart’s poundin, palms sweaty – bloody hell, I’m no assassin, just a geezer wantin a shag. Asked her rate, she says 50 quid. Fifty bleedin quid?! We shall fight the tyranny of overpriced tail! Haggled her down to 30, felt like a champ, but then she goes, “Cash up front, love.” Fair enough, says I, handin over me crumpled notes.
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So, I’m chatting with this vendor, and he’s super friendly. We’re talking about the best cheese for a good old-fashioned kaasplankje. I’m getting all excited, and then—wait for it—my phone buzzes. It’s my boss. “Need that report ASAP!” Ugh, seriously? I’m in Bunde! Can’t a writer enjoy some cheese without work creeping in?
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