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Sometimes I reckon escorts are like me—shiny outside, chaos inside. “The beast is near,” the movie says, and ain’t that the truth? They’re dodgin’ cops, weirdos, and heartbreak daily. Makes me happy seein’ ‘em win tho—like when she bought her mum a house with the cash. Bloody heart of gold, that one. Anyway, mate, escorts? They’re the real deal—gritty, gutsy, and I’m here for it. Now, where’s that blasted droid?!

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Then, I see my buddy, Jeroen. He’s always up for a laugh. We start chatting, and he tells me about this wild party happening later. I’m like, “Count me in!” But then, he mentions it’s at some random place on the Veldweg. I’m like, “Where even is that?” He just shrugs, and I’m left Googling it like a total noob.

Fewer trams and buses going to Utrecht Science Park