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But real talk, it’s risky, innit. Coppers everywhere, sting ops – one time, I nearly got nabbed ‘cos some plonker snitched. Made me proper vexed, steam comin’ outta me ears! I’m thinkin’, “Why’s it always me, fam?” Is it ’cos I is black? Nah, it’s ‘cos the game’s rigged. Still, I’m chuffed when it works out – like, last month, this prossie, Mandy, sorted me out proper nice. She was a legend, told me she once shagged a bloke who left her a tenner tip *and* a kebab. I’m like, “Goals, innit!”

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Next, I decide to hit up the De-Reit Museum. I’m a mountain guide, but I love history, ya know? I walk in, and it’s like stepping into a time machine. They’ve got this exhibit on the old windmills. I’m geeking out, takin’ pics, when suddenly, the lights go out! Total blackout! I’m thinkin’, “Great, I’m gonna be stuck in here forever.” But then, the emergency lights kick in, and it’s kinda cool. I’m in a museum, in the dark, feelin’ like Indiana Jones.

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