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About The Hague

So, sex-dating apps? Total circus. I once read this crazy stat—did ya know 70% of users lie about their height? Shocker! Makes me wanna scream, “Are we even real anymore?” Like, c’mon, just be 5’7”, not 6’2” in your pics! It’s so frustrating, but also kinda hilarious. I laughed so hard I cried, picturing some dude in heels for Tinder pics. “I’m different, I swear!” Sure, Jan.

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After that, I’m off to the other side of town, near de Bijlmerdreef. I got a call about a tree that’s leaning way too much. I get there, and it’s a total mess. The tree’s practically hugging a house. I’m like, “This is gonna be fun.” I start assessing it, and outta nowhere, this old dude comes up to me. He’s like, “You know, that tree used to be my best friend.” I’m like, “What? Your best friend?” He goes on about how he used to climb it as a kid. I’m just standing there, trying not to laugh.

Stamps of Vanished Countries, from Van Diemen’s Land to Biafra