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About Tilburg

So, I’m out there, right? Checkin’ corners, dodgin’ creepy dudes. Did ya know, back in the day, prostitutes in Berlin had secret signals? Like, a red hanky meant “I’m free, baby!” Crazy, huh? I’m walkin’, thinkin’, man, this is like that movie – “The truth? You can’t handle it!” ‘Cept I’m handlin’ it, sorta. This one time, I see her – tight skirt, smokin’ a cig. I’m like, “How you doin’?” She laughs, says, “50 bucks, Romeo.” I’m HAPPY, dude, ‘cause she’s hot, but ANGRY too – 50 bucks? For what, a wink?

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So, I wake up early, like, way too early. The sun’s barely peekin’ over the rooftops. I’m thinkin’, “Today’s gonna be a breeze.” Ha! Little did I know. I grab my coffee from the local café on de Dijk. Best coffee in town, no joke. I’m sippin’ it, feelin’ all fancy, when I hear this loud honkin’. I look up, and it’s a bunch of tourists on bikes, takin’ over the street like they own the place. I’m like, “Yo, this ain’t Amsterdam!”

Bang! Meet the big ‘Red Monsters’ of the early universe