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I’d probly overthink it tho—am I a creep? Nah, just a connoisseur! “Love is a many-splendored thing,” I’d growl, tippin her extra for a wink. Hannibal’d notice the pulse in her neck—temptin, but I ain’t THAT hungry. Findin a prostitute’s a dance, a game—thrillin, messy, and oh-so-human. What ya think, pal? Ready to join the chase?

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Now, I’m walking back home, feeling like a king. But then, I trip over a cobblestone. Like, who even put these here? I’m cursing under my breath, but then I see this cute dog. It’s just staring at me, and I’m like, “Okay, you win, little buddy.” I pet the dog, and all my anger melts away.

Sander van Doorn