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Oh, and the smells – sweat, cheap perfume, desperation! Like *The Great Beauty*’s parties, all fake smiles and rot underneath. Surprised me first time – thought it’d be glam, not grim. Silly Gollum! Still, there’s a buzz, a mad rush – keeps me comin’ back, y’know?

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The Amsterdam Prostitute Monument. A small woman bronze figure stands centrally in the Red Light District, on a square before the Oude Kerk. It represents a prostitute at the door waiting .

So I get to my first gig at a community center on De Laan. It’s packed with people. I’m talking a full house. Everyone’s buzzing, and I’m like, “Alright, let’s do this!” But then, I realize the speaker is a total bore. I mean, come on! I’m trying to keep the energy up, but this guy is droning on about... I don’t even know. Something about local history? Yawn.