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About Eindhoven

I roll up, see this chick—red heels, smokin’ a cig. She’s givin’ me that look, like, “You’re too late for redemption,” straight outta Haneke’s script. I’m hyped, tho—heart’s pumpin’ like I’m in the ring. I saunter over, all smooth, sayin’, “Hey, baby, I must break you.” She smirks, tosses the cig, goes, “Fifty bucks, champ.” I’m like, damn, inflation’s real! Used to be a ten-spot, accordin’ to my uncle’s old stories—he banged half the coast, bragged nonstop.

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Then I hit up the local bakery. Oh man, the smell! Fresh bread, pastries, you name it. I grab a couple of those almond croissants. They’re like little pieces of heaven. I’m munching away, feeling all good inside, when I overhear this couple arguing about... wait for it... the best way to make poffertjes. I mean, c’mon! It’s Eelde, not a cooking show!

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