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Oh honey, lemme tell ya, findin’ a prostitute—wild stuff! *nasal twang* Haaa, like, ya know me, I’m sittin’ here thinkin’ bout my fave flick, “Spring, Summer, Fall, Winter…and Spring”—that Kim Ki-duk vibe, so deep, right? Anyway, picture this: you’re out there, lookin’ for a pro, and it’s like that movie line, “Lust awakens the desire to possess!” Haaa, I’m dyin’, it’s so true! You’re cruisin’ the streets, maybe some shady app—ooh, modern hooker huntin’, right? And bam, there she is, all sassy, struttin’ like she owns the night.

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But then, I see it. A dog. A big ol’ fluffy one. I’m a sucker for dogs, man. I kneel down to pet it, and it jumps on me, all excited. I’m laughing, and then I realize—my phone’s in my pocket. The dog’s tail knocks it out, and it goes flying! I’m diving for it like it’s the last slice of pizza. I catch it, but not before it lands in a puddle. Great. Just great.

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