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About Utrecht

So this bird, she’s called somethin’ like Ruby—prolly fake, who cares? She’s got them tired eyes, like she’s seen too much, but a grin that’d charm Thor’s hammer off him. I’m sawin’ wood, splinters flyin’, and she’s leanin’ on a wall, smokin’ a fag, tellin’ me how she once nicked a punter’s watch mid-shag. Laughed my arse off—crafty minx! “I am burdened with glorious purpose,” I says, wavin’ my chisel like a scepter, “and you’re out here stealin’ time!”

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First off, I’m supposed to meet a client at the café on Hoofdstraat. You know, the one with the weirdly good apple pie? Yeah, that one. I’m running late, of course. Typical me. I sprint down the street, dodging cyclists like I’m in some kind of video game. Like, chill, people! It’s not a race!

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