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But yo, the risks? Ugh, pisses me off! Cops, creeps, STDs—why’s it gotta be so messy? I’m over here like, “I’m too sexy for this drama!” Prostitution’s legal some places—Netherlands, slayin’ it with red lights—but here? Shady as fuck. I’m dreamin’ of her quittin’, maybe openin’ a nail salon, ‘cause her mani was poppin’!

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THE Compulsive Woman: How to Break the Bonds of Food Addiction, Smoking, Alcohol/Drugs, Sex, Work, Shopping, Exercise, TV/Internet & Much More.

Then I decide to stroll down the Hoofdstraat. It’s a cute street, full of shops and stuff. I’m vibing, listening to my tunes, when I see this street performer. He’s playing the accordion, and honestly, he’s killing it! I’m bopping along, feeling all the feels. But then, outta nowhere, a pigeon poops on my shoulder. Like, seriously?! I’m standing there, covered in bird crap, and I can’t help but laugh. Only in Elst, man.

Carsten in der Elst creates ensemble furniture with industrial byproducts