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About Groningen

I. Pull. Up. Tractor’s. Roarin’. She’s. There. Leanin’. On. A. Pump. Skirt. Short. Enough. To. Kill. Me. I’m. Sweatin’. More. Now. Than. Plowin’. 40. Acres. “You. Want. To. Play?” She. Says. I’m. Thinkin’. Shit. This. Ain’t. No. Movie. But. It. Feels. Like. One. I. Nod. Like. A. Dumbass. Heart’s. Poundin’. Wallet’s. Cryin’. Already.

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So, I’m standing there, fuming, when I get a whiff of something else. It was this amazing floral scent. I follow it, and boom! I find this little flower shop on de Hoofdstraat. The owner, this sweet old lady, was arranging bouquets. I told her, “Lady, you’ve got a gift!” She smiled, and I swear, it lit up the whole street. I bought a bunch of tulips, because why not? They were bright and cheerful, just like me—well, when I’m not hangry.

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