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About Utrecht

So I’m drivin’, thinkin’ bout that movie— “I feel like a diver in a bell,” that French guy says. Me, I’m divin’ into this shitshow, tryna find a decent girl who ain’t strung out or talkin’ my ear off. Last week, I pick one up—cute, red hair, legs for days. She hops in, smells like cheap perfume and regret. I’m happy for a sec, like, “Fuck yeah, jackpot!” Then she starts yappin’— “My ex this, my pimp that.” I’m like, “Sweetheart, I ain’t your therapist, let’s keep this transactional!” Surprised me how they always got a sob story. Guess it’s part of the gig.

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The council folks show up, and they’re all serious. I’m trying to act cool, but inside, I’m like a tornado of panic. They start asking questions about our research on the water quality in the Emmermeer canals. I’m like, “Yeah, we’re on it!” But in my head, I’m thinking, “Please don’t ask me anything technical!”