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About Amsterdam

Hey buddy, so I’m like, The Watchmaker, right? Tick-tock, makin’ time work! Anyway, lemme tell ya bout findin’ a prostitute—wild stuff, man! I’m sittin’ there thinkin’, “Man, this is gonna be epic!” Cringey optimism, baby—that’s me, Michael Scott style! Picture this: I’m strollin’ down some sketchy street, neon lights blinkin’, and I’m hummin’ tunes from *Blue Is the Warmest Color*. You know, that flick’s my jam—those vibes, so raw, so real! “I’m alive, I feel it!”—that’s what Adèle says, right? And I’m feelin’ that, lookin’ for some company!

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Then, I hit the harbor. The boats are bobbing, and I’m thinking, “This is nice.” But then I see this seagull. And not just any seagull. This dude is like the king of the harbor. He swoops down and snatches a sandwich right outta some tourist’s hand! I’m cracking up, but the tourist? Not so much.

Petra Hoost (1976- )