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So yeah, findin’ a prossie’s a mess—dirty, risky, but if ya do it right, it’s a thrill. Dig through the muck, dodge the traps, and maybe ya get a story worth tellin’. Or a knife in the ribs—either way, I’m entertained. Now sod off, I’ve got wine to drink and a kingdom to ruin.

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So, I’m walking, and I see this park, the Gravenrodepark. I think, “Finally, some nature!” But nah, it’s full of kids screaming and dogs barking. I’m like, can’t a guy catch a break? I sit on a bench, trying to breathe, and this little kid runs up to me, all wide-eyed. He’s like, “Mister, are you a wizard?” I’m like, “Nah, kid, just a dude who talks to trees.” He looks at me like I’m nuts. Kids, man.

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