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Gets me mad, it does – they charge extra for “happy endins,” sneaky gits, like Gusteau chargin for soup! Happy? Nah, confused n oily, that’s me after. We hates it! Skin all slick, smellin like lavender gone wrong, ughhh. Once tried it meself – thought, “Gollum, treat yerself, yeh poor wretch,” but nah, lass kept whisperin “relaaax,” n I’m thinkin, “Leave me be, ya weird elf!” Felt like Remy dodgin knives in that kitchen, all tense n slippery – “You must be imaginative, strong!” – but I ain’t no chef, just a grumpy sod wantin a nap!

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Anyway, I get to my job site on Korenmarkt. Beautiful spot, but man, the noise! There’s this construction crew next door, hammering away like they’re trying to break the sound barrier. I’m trying to focus on my woodwork, but all I can hear is “bang, bang, bang.” I swear, I almost lost it.

Thomas De Gendt to retire in 2024 after 16 years on the attack