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She’s prattlin’ on— “Cash upfront, guv!”—and I’m all, “Hang about, *cave felis*, beware the cat, yeah?” Tryin’ to haggle, cos I’m a cheapskate—big surprise there. She rolls her eyes—seen it all, she has. Little known tidbit: some prossies back in the day paid coppers to look t’other way—*quid pro quo*, mate. Bet she’s got old Bill on speed dial, cheeky mare.

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Then, I decide to treat myself. I head to that little café on the corner of Kerkstraat. You know the one? They’ve got the best apple pie. I order a slice, and it’s like a slice of heaven. I’m sittin’ there, just chillin’, when I overhear some folks talkin’ about the Hengstdal festival comin’ up. I’m like, “Heck yeah! I gotta go!”